15 thoughts on “Chapter 34: Page 20

  1. so yaldar is seeing gray in black??? gaaah!!! conflict between love and hatred, jealousy and longing… my feels can’t take it anymore huhuhu T.T
    Thank you dee for this wonderful piece of art. I really love Grey is… keep up the good work

  2. Yaldar thoughts became tangled. Black looks and act like Izar but Izar and Yaldar had each other (two against the world). Their father hated them both but with Black being loved. Yaldar is longing for the relationship that tied him to Izar, but the loneliness that he endured after Izar death made him angry/ gloomy/ negative person. “I hate him my brother” if he’s referring to Izar here, it really shows how much he loved him here the “hate ” to me is more like loving but with regret. Each Soul is calling the other but there’s no respond. I thought about the book that Yaldar was reading (life after death) it felt more like “ seeing “life” as “ being born” or “birth” after “death” as “someone who dies” or “ living but with dead soul”.

    1. Life after death is actually about the philosophy of oneself.
      I think that Yaldar as a kid was seeking for self worth after succumbing to grief. He’s practicing suicidal, and losing interest in life.
      People tend to seek answers in the form of questions rather desperately. So he might have picked the book up, simply because he wanted to know what had happened to his twin (based on the chapter title), but didn’t necessarily find what he was looking for.

      In a rather spiritual way, I think that Yaldar is desperate to link Izar, and Black, as one. That Black is actually a reincarnate who unjustifiably made Yaldar suffer alone for so long, but through the cracks he sees that it’s a desperate theory to cauterize that wound. So when reality overshadows delusion, Yaldar fixates on the role of the saviour. He doesn’t want Black to suffer as he has. The abuse, the insistence to die, is a reflection upon his own suffering, that he doesn’t wish upon Black.

  3. Aiiiiiii… You play so hard with my feelings, do you know? ;-;
    I read that and feel sorry for Yaldar but then I think about what he did to Black and hate him but then you update again and pitty him and somehow I can’t help but (sorry if it sounds stupid) feel some kind of love/hate for this character that is Yaldar…

    And I also can’t help but love Grey is…💕💕

    1. As they said. Totally not stupid. It was written on the cover page of this chapter and the way the patient is telling the story is just like that, swinging between hating and feeling sorry for Yaldar.

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